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LivingWithTrisomy13.org

Ironman for Kids - The Living with Trisomy 13 Community thanks Michael Hennessey for helping to raise awareness for Trisomy 13 and other related disorders. See Video & Details>

A Story of Regret

 

 

  Laurie-Beth is available for immediate support
*82-1-510-744-0512   Click here to e-mail
CA California
Perinatal Hospice
 is often misunderstood by families...Many feel that choosing hospice care means giving up on their child. The Perinatal hospice approach is to walk with the parents through their journey after receiving a difficult diagnosis during their pregnancy, and to help the parents to deal with that diagnosis in the way they feel is best...This can mean anything from choosing to withhold any life saving measures to developing a palliative care plan with the family...

In 1997, after so many years of infertility treatment, my husband and I finally got the news we were expecting, only to find out after my amnio that our daughter had a complete trisomy 13.  We were told she would not survive until term, that I should terminate my pregnancy.  My OB, the Geneticist, the Perinatologist, my son's Pediatrician, everyone I spoke to said I had to terminate my pregnancy, and at 18 weeks it had to be now.  
 
I was adamant I could not live with the decision, but my husband had listened to all the advice and agreed that it was for the best and pushed hard for me to terminate.  We were told she would not live, that she would suffer unbearably if she made it to term, and I was being selfish to want to keep her, so I agreed.
 
It is a choice I cannot live with to this day. I look at these pictures, read your stories and my heart aches.  Since I had a D&E, I never even got to see or hold my daughter - Serena Brianne, we named her.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of her or feel she was sent to me for a reason, and feel guilty for giving up on her - because she didn't give up.
 
We have since been blessed with another little girl, Eilish Ann.  She is perfect in every way, but she can not replace the daughter I have lost, or ease the pain that doesn't seem to every lessen.
 
Your message is so important.  Had I read these things nine years ago, I would have never listened to anything other than my own heart.  A mother's heart always knows what is best for her child.  Maybe she would not still be with us, but that would have been her choice, not mine, not theirs.  You give hope to those who have been told there is none, and a way for them to hear what is most important...the truth.
 
Thank you,
Laurie-Beth *82-1-510-744-0512 CA California

 
 

 
Physician's Home

Not Compatible with Life, a diary of keeping Daniel
By Kylie Sheffield

Prenatal Diagnosis Information Package - Compiled by Kylie Sheffield (mum of Daniel, full Trisomy 13) in consultation with families on this web site

LINKS FOR PROFESSIONALS FROM MEDICAL AUTHORITIES
Articles on Eugenics, Ethics, Selective Abortion, Selective Induction and the killing of Disabled Children

Personal Qualms Don't Count: Hospital Forces Nurses To Participate In Genetic Terminations 
by MARNIE KO

ESSAYS BY TRISOMY 13 PARENTS
Free literature to share with your patients

WHEN WHAT SEEMS BROKEN IS PERFECT
By Barbara Farlow (Annie's Mom)

The decision to accept disability: One family’s perspective
By Barbara Farlow BEngSci MBA

A Letter to: Pediatric Physicians, OB-Gynecologists, Geneticists & Healthcare Providers, from ThereseAnn - A parent of a Trisomy 13 child

How Our Babies have changed our Lives
by Maria Demers

A Mother's letter to newly diagnosed Families (Printable to have on hand in your office to give to patients) by Julie Sexton

Message to All Obstetricians & Perinatologists
Message to  All Physicians, Specialists, and Doctors Alike  by Mary Mabeus

Letters to Physicians
-Trisomy 13 Survival Tactics
-Patients Plan of Care - Faith in Action
-Considerations in Making a Specified Plan of Care
by Janina E. Arritola

How can anyone say that these children do not contribute to society, therefore what is the point?
by Melissa Roy

Website & Articles for Surgical Procedures for those opting for medical intervention for specific abnormalities.
What is an Omphalocele? The method of delivery will be discussed with you as the time gets closer. The method of delivery is dependent on the size of the omphalocele. If the size is quite large and especially if the liver is involved, the doctor may prefer to do a cesarean section (c-section) to avoid the risk of injury to the liver. Otherwise, the preferred method of delivery is vaginal."

Decompressive cranioplasty may improve the clinical symptoms of children with mild trigonocephaly and intracranial pressure: report of 56 patients - June 5 2004

Mild trigonocephaly with clinical symptoms:  analysis of surgical results in 65 patients
- June 5 2004
Termination, Abortion the only choice?

(A must read for Physician’s who advise parents after early testing and prenatal diagnosis) These women share the immense pain a termination has left on their lives. When counseled by Professionals they were offered no hope. They were not given the option of carrying to term and holding their child, if even briefly. Nor offered the compassionate support this diagnosis requires. Instead these women felt they had to make the heart breaking choice to end their child’s life.
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A Story of Regret - "Maybe if the professionals we had talked to had given us more information we would have made a different choice. To this day, I still live with the pain of the choices we made. Trisomy needs to have a bigger voice and all the professionals need to be more open minded and not so much on terminating
~
Katie -
Full Story
- - -
"It is a choice I cannot live with to this day.  I look at these pictures, read your stories and my heart aches.  Since I had a D&E, I never even got to see or hold my daughter."
~Laurie-Beth Full Story
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After experiencing the effects of an abortion with a previous pregnancy, Elizabeth shares her experiences with carrying to term a child with Patau Syndrome - Trisomy 13.
~Elisabeth Slotkin Full Story
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This is a portion of a speech given by Eagle Forum Alaska  President, Debbie Joslin on the capitol steps, January 22, 2008  Full Story

Click here to download printable LivingWithTrisomy13.org "awareness cards."

Living with Trisomy 13
Focused on prayerful support and gifts of love to those touched by a Trisomy 13 child.
Inspired By An Angel
Attn: LivingWithTrisomy13
15802 Springdale St.. #68
Huntington Beach, CA  92649

info@LivingWithTrisomy13.org

 

 

Text and graphics © LivingWithTrisomy13.org 2005-2007 All information found on this site was submitted to us directly by the families and used on this site with their permission.
Cover photo of Pamela Sullivan & her precious daughter Maria, copyright Pamela Sullivan 2004, used with permission.
If We Hold On Together  Song Copyright 2002 by Patricia Welch, Ltd. All rights reserved.   Used with permission.
 
*Disclaimer
All material on this site reflects our personal journey with raising a Trisomy 13 child. It is not meant to replace any medical advise of a professional familiar with your specific condition. The personal journeys of any parents on this site are only their opinions and their own journey with having a Trisomy 13 child. You should consult with your own physician or other medical professional regarding the opinions or recommendations expressed within these pages as to your own child's symptoms and medical condition.
 

Looking for ALL families who’ve had a trisomy child of any number. Whether you terminated, miscarriage, had a stillbirth, live birth - living or deceased. Including adoptive and Foster parents. Please fill out the TRIS survey  to help update the medical literature and to improve the quality and availability of medical care. Tracking Rare Incidence Syndromes (TRIS)  Click here to add your information

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