Ryan Todd
August 30, 2004 - November 10, 2004

Doha, State of Qatar

Born: August 30, 2004
Died: November 10, 2004
Daddy & Mommy: Glenn & Christel Todd

Ryan, our firstborn, was not an ordinary baby but a special gift from God.

My husband Glenn and I are South Africans, we have been living in the Middle East for the past 5 years. First Saudi Arabia later moved to Qatar where Ryan was born. I was 8 months pregnant with Ryan, when Glenn learned that he had been assigned on a project in the State of Qatar.

We were so excited to move to a new country and the joy of having our first little baby. Ryan was born on August 30, 2004 at 18:00 with an emergency caesarian (my water broke) in Doha Clinic, a private clinic in Qatar. After his birth, I had a feeling ‘something’ was wrong. Within hours of his birth, deep concerns were voiced due to indications that he had Trisomy 13 – a chromosomal disorder. Never heard of this syndrome, but within weeks we’ve became experts on the subject!

After he was born, they transferred Ryan to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in the State Hospital. Glenn went with him and when Glenn came back to see me at the clinic, I could tell just by looking at him and seeing the sadness on his face…he told me that the Doctor who admitted Ryan to the NICU said that he will not make it through the night. But Ryan, the little fighter that he was, proved the doctors wrong, he wanted to live!

I felt so lonely, being in a foreign country with no friends or family close by for support. I did not see Ryan until 2 days later. I was scared and did not really want to look at him. Glenn touched his leg and talked to him. Later, Glenn picked him up and sang to him, prayed for him. I felt like an outsider, like it was someone else’s baby. The doctor on-call came in and talked to us. He encouraged me to hold him, take pictures and make the best of the time we have with Ryan. (Thank God I did!)

The way I cried… non-stop. I cried for that little body, attached to machines and feeding tubes. I cried for Glenn, who wanted to be strong, who, after our daily visits with Ryan at the NICU went home and locked himself in Ryan’s room, crying, holding his little clothes and praying for him. The question “Why?” and “Why me?” came up more than once. We visited Ryan every day for three weeks. Then the doctor said Ryan could go home. The only power we had was love, cuddling, lots of touching and lots of prayers!

We took Ryan home where he got all the love and attention in the world. In the mean time, we have met so many wonderful people. Anthea, Cornel and Nicolene, 3 South African ladies who also live with their families in Qatar and just know how to give and give and give! Apart from them, there were so many others who supported us, cried with us, prayed with us and had such a big impact on our lives.

We had to make the best of the time we had with Ryan, he went shopping with us, he even came to church a couple of times. He touched so many people’s lives! God definitely had a purpose with Ryan’s life. And we don’t have any regrets. After all, we’ve learned a lot from Ryan, we learned the true meaning of unconditional love.

Ryan was at home for 3 weeks when he developed a high fever and started having seizures. I took him to the doctor who admitted him to the pediatric unit. After 2 weeks he was discharged. He spent another two weeks at home with us and quietly, while I was holding him in my arms went to heaven, early morning of November 10, 2004.

Time is a great healer, I don’t think any mother ever gets over a child’s death, but as time goes on, we’ve learned to accept and made peace with God’s will. It is great to know that Ryan is in heaven.

Christel Todd
(South Africans living in Qatar)
christeltodd@yahoo.com