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Claremore Oklahoma
"I thank God for giving us the opportunity to spend two days with Steven. God knew the outcome and he could have chosen to take Steven much earlier than he did. I do believe that everything happens for reason."
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My name is Maysha Phillips (27) and my fiancées name is James Denny (27). We
live in Claremore Oklahoma. I was expecting my third child and his second.
This was our first child together. My pregnancy was rough. I got pregnant
right after an immediate gallbladder surgery. I was still trying to
recuperate after the surgery and on top of that
carry a baby. After a few months of being sick things finally leveled out.
At 22 weeks we had an ultrasound and found out it was a boy. We also heard
some unexpected news that he had cleft lip and cleft palate. Nothing was
mentioned at all about the possibilities of Trisomy 13. From that point on I
was under the care of two OB doctors. I had a couple of episodes that put me
in the hospital but nothing major.
About a week
before delivery I noticed that Steven stopped moving over the weekend. I
kept a close eye on his movements each day. That Monday (35 weeks) I fell
and I was really scared then because he stopped moving completely. I went
into the doctor and he checked everything out and said he was ok (Still no
mention of T13) and sent me home. That week things just didn't feel right. I
took time out each day to do kick counts. From
the kick counts everything was ok. On February 16th I had baby shower number
one of two. It was at our house so I was on a cleaning rampage. The shower
was great. That evening I started having contractions. I thought it was my
normal Braxton Hicks that I had been having for the past two months. I
figured that with all the cleaning that I had done it was all just catching
up with me. At about 11:30 that night James decides that he was taking me to
the hospital (I still didn't want to go). We got admitted to the hospital
and found out that I was already a 5. So they informed me then that I was
having Mr. Steven. My water still had not broke. They had to give me
antibiotics for Steven before they would even think about breaking my water.
Once the last drop of
the antibiotics was in me I was begging them to break my water. Once they
did it was only about 15 minutes and then I delivered Steven at 6:21am on
February 17th (which is also my oldest daughters birthday). He was 5 pounds
5 ounces and 19 1/4 inches long (not bad for 5 weeks early). They placed him
on my stomach and he cried once. Like we had expected he had the cleft lip
and palate. The nurses took him away and
he stopped breathing.
Due to him being early and the cleft lip and palate
they had already had a major hospital on call to transport him. As they were
preparing him to be transported they looked him over. The pediatrician came
into our room and was giving us an update on Steven. He said that he had an
extra digit on his fingers and his eyes were not developed. With the cleft
lip/palate, his eyes and the extra digits the doctor felt that he might have
T13. He said nothing could be confirmed until a chromosome test was done.
Steven was stabilized and was transported at 9:30am. I was scheduled to have
my tubes tied after delivery. Due to it being on Sunday and the time I
delivered I was going to have to wait until Monday morning to have it done.
My OB
doctor took all my vitals and she decided that I was stable enough and could
be released to be with Steven. I was released at 11:00 and we were headed to
the hospital to see Steven. I thank her everyday for releasing me. Once we
got to the hospital Steven was doing good. I hated not being able to hold
him. He was very responsive of James. Each time dad would talk to him he
would get all excited.
There were a
few times that the nurses had to ask James to leave because he was throwing
Steven's vitals off. We were at the hospital non stop. I thank all of our
family and friends for taking care of our other three kids. During our time
at the hospital James and I talked and decided that now was not a good time
to have my tubes tied. We didn't feel right having me in one hospital and
Steven in another. So, Monday morning I called my OB doctor and canceled my
surgery. She seemed very relieved that we made that decision. Monday Steven
was doing good. He was breathing on his own (with the machine) and was very
active. They done an ultrasound of his abdominal and his heart. Did a CAT
Scan of his brain. We found out from those test that the front lobe of his
brain was small, he had a heart defect and his kidneys were abnormal. They
also sent off his blood to have the chromosome test done. We were informed
that it would take up to 7 days before we get it back. We kept positive and
enjoyed each minute we had with him. Monday night around 11:30 pm we went in
and told Steven goodnight. Told him that we would see him in the morning. He
got very upset with us and started crying. It was hard leaving him that
night. The next morning we got back at the
hospital around 9:00. We went in to see Steven and he wasn't the same kid we
left only 8 hours ago. He was not breathing on his own the machine was doing
it all for him. He was not responsive to us at all. We talked to the doctor
and she said that he started having problems around 4:30 that morning. She
also informed us that the quick version of the chromosome test was completed
and the genetic doctor would be in around 11:00am to speak with us. We
called our parents and informed them of the meeting and requested that
everyone be there for support. It was confirmed that Steven had T13. He
informed us that neither of us did anything to cause this. (In my head I am
thinking that it was because of my gallbladder surgery a month before I
conceived.)
We asked the doctors where we go from here. They informed us
they will do whatever we decided. James and I had already talked about the
possibilities of
having to make this decision. We decided that it wasn't worth him hurting
anymore. We requested for him to be taken off of everything. They put us
into a room so we could hold him and say our goodbyes. They brought Steven
to us around 11:45. They placed him in my arms and he started crying. For
some reason I thought he would have already been gone. But he wasn't, he was
holding on for us. He was stubborn and hung on till mom and dad both told
him we loved him and it was ok for him to go home (he gets that from his
dad!). We got to spend a wonderful hour with him before he passed. He passed
in our arms around 12:45pm. Some of the photos were taken during our last
few moments with him (thank you Aunt Sherri for taking them). We called the
nurse in the room to take Steven. She informed us that we could have as much
time as we want that there was no hurry. We said that he is home and safe
now.
They confirmed his passing at 12:50pm.
I thank God for giving us the opportunity to spend two days with Steven. God
knew the outcome and he could have chosen to take Steven much earlier than
he did. I do believe that everything happens for reason. Though at times I
question why. I have learned that we may never know why until the day we
meet him. I know that one day I will know the answer why and I will get to
see my perfect, healthy son. I know each day he is watching over us. He is
my little angel. I miss him dearly but I know he is being well taken care
of.
Since Steven's death it has brought our family closer together. We have gone
to the genetic doctor and he once again assured us that there was nothing we
could have done to prevent this. That there was nothing either of us did for
this to happen. He said that our chances of having another T13 baby are very
slim. We have decided to plan our wedding and towards the end of the year we
are going to try conceive again.
Our little man is now perfect and watching over us. We miss him dearly
each day.
James, Maysha, Brook, Leslie and Shelby
bsmother@atlasok.com
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