| |
|
In honor of
the one year anniversary of Baby Gabriel’s birth on May 30, 2008, I am
pleased to announce the launch of the
Northern
Virginia Prenatal & Perinatal Loss Resources web site.
In walking along the journey with Baby Gabriel and his family, I learned
that we had nothing centralized in NoVA for families experiencing
similar losses, be they miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. No
more. The least I could do was to put this together for women, their
babies, and their families.
If you have any links/resources/blogs/videos that are appropriate to the
web site and will benefit other families, please let me know. Many of
the resources and links listed are not for NoVA alone.
In awe of what Baby Gabriel brought to Northern Virginia,
Love and Light, Tammi
Tammi McKinley
Northern Virginia Midwifery
http://www.novamidwife.org/loss/
http://northernvirginiamidwifery.blogspot.com/
 |
11-24-08
Please keep Gabriel’s family in your prayers. He
passed away on Sunday, November 23, 2008.
November 23, 2008
Gabriel passed away on Sunday morning. He was and still is an amazing
spirit. We had a long journey with sweet Gabriel. He continued to show us
and doctors that his life was so much bigger than us. The journey that we
went on with Gabriel was difficult but it was also an experience that was so
life changing and beautiful that we cannot put it into words.
- - -
About Gabriel:
Gabriel was a planned home waterbirth baby, born at 6lbs 8 ounces and 16
inches long. His birth was so serene and peaceful and although he was a
posterior baby (came out face up), I didn't experience any of the intense
back pain usually associated with posterior babies; it was the perfect
experience. We had no knowledge of Gabriel's Trisomy 13 because I had only
one ultrasound at 13 weeks. My pregnancy with Gabriel was just like my
pregnancy with my daughter, very easy and healthy.
After I caught Gabriel and brought him up to look at him I saw a beautiful
baby, the next thing that I saw was his small, malformed ear and then the
extra digit dangling on his left hand. I remember saying oh, look at his
hand and one of my midwives tell me that it was not unusual, especially for
black American babies to have an extra digit. She said we could tie a string
around it until it fell off. My second midwife asked what the sex of my baby
was, and when I saw that I had a baby boy, I cried with joy and my husband
yipped with joy also. Gabriel opened his eyes flexed his arms but failed to
take a breathe. One of midwives took him from me and tilted his head down,
they told me at one of my prenatal appointments that sometimes babies need
some help getting some of the fluid out of their lungs so that they can
breathe so not to be alarmed if they needed to assist. Even as I'm watching
one midwife give Gabriel mouth to mouth and the other hold a stethoscope to
check his vitals, nothing seemed off except for when they told my husband to
call 911. I screamed "No!" and they calmly told me that it was needed, if
anything we could send them away after everything was alright.
 Time stood
still and went by so fast all at the same time as I watched my baby's skin
turn blue, when I started crying my midwives told me to keep calm and talk
to my baby, to let him know that I was there for him and that he would be
okay. Thankfully, after over 8 minutes of mouth to mouth resuscitation,
Gabriel's color returned and he started to breathe on his own. Shortly
after, the emergency team arrived and asked if we'd like to go to the ER but
I declined because the midwives told me his vitals were fine and he was of
course breathing, although it was rapid but he was breathing on his own.
After the emergency personnel left, I attempted to nurse Gabriel but he
wasn't at all interested. We didn't think anything of it at first, I figured
he needed a little bit of time but after repeated attempts with no interest
at all, I became concerned. My midwives said that he wasn't keeping his
temperature up on his own either, we had to warm up some blankets in the
dryer several times to keep him warm. After a physical overview done by the
midwives that pointed out a number of physical characteristics that were out
of the norm (one extra digits on each foot, pinky fingers that wouldn't
bend, puffy feet, malformed ear, extra digit on his hand) my husband and I
knew in our hearts that something wasn't right. Gabriel never cried and he
didn't show any indication that he was aware that I was his mommy. When our
midwives told us that at the recommendation of the pediatrician, we needed
to go to the ER, this was about four hours after his birth. When we arrived
at the hospital an IV was started on Gabriel and a number of tests and taken
to the NICU. We had to wait in the waiting area because visitors weren't
allowed in the NICU while nurses and doctors changed shifts and were briefed
on patients.
 For two hours we waited and when I finally spoke with the doctor on the
status of everything she told me that based on some of his physical
characteristics it looked like he had a chromosome defect so blood samples
had been sent to the lab. I asked if there was one disorder in particular
that they felt he may have and she told me that it looked as though he had
Trisomy 13 and quickly and briefly told me some the characteristics and told
me that children with this disorder have severe mental retardation and don't
usually survive beyond weeks, sometimes a couple of months. Everything that
she rattled off to me was so surreal, the entire situation was surreal. I
wanted to be at home nursing and holding my baby boy with my 4 year old
daughter and husband. I couldn't and didn't want to believe what I had just
heard.
I
walked back into the waiting area to tell my husband and midwives what the
possible diagnosis was. My husband and I cried and my midwives offered their
support and hugged us goodbye. The remainder of Gabriel's 2 1/2 stay in NICU
consisted of monitoring and tests and sonograms of his brain and heart. We
were told that there were no abnormalities that could be seen in his brain
and his heart didn't have any major defects that could be seen although it
was on the right side of his chest instead of the left. His breathing
continued to be shallow and rapid but his chest was clear. When the test
came back that confirmed his Trisomy 13, we were really treated as if
Gabriel was doomed. For an additional day and a half, we had our own room
with Gabriel, he started to drink breast milk via a nipple shield and a
small syringe and by the time that we left he was drinking from a bottle.
The stay at the hospital consisted of lots of doctors, a social worker, and
someone with Hospice. We left the hospital without any immediate assistance
from anyone, took our baby home, knowing that what he needed most of all was
to be home with the love, faith, and positivity of his family.
 Gabriel is such a blessing and has such a sweet and powerful spirit. He has
had some nasal congestion for the past couple of weeks and has some
breathing difficulty especially when he cries. We looked down his throat and
see a very small air way/throat. He is gaining weight by drinking breast
milk that I pump from a bottle. I went to one Pediatrician based on a
recommendation but have found him to not be compassionate at all. Right now
I'm still searching for a good pediatrician so that I can consult with an
Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor and an Ophthalmologist. We will also seek a
Neurologist because Gabriel does have severla myoclonic jerks during the
day.
I'm definitely open to anyone who has suggestions or information that you
can provide us. We are still very new to this but I'm glad everyday that our
baby angel Gabriel is with us. He is an incredible being.
Parents:
Keasha Lee and Henry Fominyam
Feel free to contact me at
keashkl@gmail.com
Update on Gabriel: Nov 15, 2008
A lot has happened since my first posting regarding Gabriel. He is an
extraordinary baby boy! He has endured four surgeries including groin hernia
repair, removal of extra digits, g-tube placement, and a procedure to reduce
pressure from glaucoma that developed in his eye. The glaucoma developed in
both eyes in August but we haven't done the procedure for his left eye. He
healed wonderfully from the surgeries and I'm so glad because we spent a
very emotional week in the hospital.
 On
October 13, we took Gabriel to the ER for cold sweats and clammy skin. He
was admitted to the hospital after an initial diagnosis of pneumonia. After
review of Gabriel's lung x-ray a doctor noticed that his heart size had
increased since an initial x-ray that was taken after he was born. An
echocardiogram was ordered and it was found that Gabriel's lower right heart
was enlarged and barely "squeezing," We were eventually allowed to go home
with Gabriel on 3 medications: Digoxin, Lasix, and Aldactone. On October 31,
we had our follow-up visit to the pediatric cardiologist who did another
echo and was very surprised at the results. He was admittedly "shocked" at
how well Gabriel's heart function had improved and within such a short
period of time.
Gabriel will continue with the heart medication at least through the winter
season because of the risk of viruses. In combination with the medication, I
also take Gabriel to see an alternative health practitioner who uses some
homeopathic drops and supplements using responses from his body (called
Nutrition Response Testing) to let her know what's best to use and how much
to use to keep him as healthy as possible. In addition, we have weekly
visits from an Occupational Therapist and will soon start therapy with a
Vision Specialist. So far, Gabriel has only shown response to bright light,
he does not show recognition of faces or objects.
We will also have another hearing screen for Gabriel because he did not pass
his newborn hearing test. I am hopeful that he can hear and with the help of
a hearing aid will be exposed to a whole new world -- one in which he can
absolutely hear his mommy, sister, and daddy talk to him.
|
|
Translation