Emma Leyce Gavin

June 10, 2008

Level II ultrasounds show Holoprosencephaly, Ventral Septal Defect VSD & Proboscis

June 17, 2008
It has been one week since we've met and lost our little Emma and, I must say, it has been an amazing journey. Last Tuesday was perhaps the most blessed, precious day of my life and I often close my eyes and just revel in the magic of the 6 hours I spent loving on my little girl. I am still amazed by her curly blond hair and teeny little feet and can't help but smile each night when I look at the pictures of my beautiful Emma...I am a very proud mama and would show her off to the whole world if I could. I miss her with all of my being and feel a constant void in my heart for this angel that was always meant to live in Heaven....but the joy, peace and love she brought to me and our family in her brief 36 weeks of life will last us for the rest of ours.

Many told me that Emma's birthday would be the happiest and saddest day of my life, and they were all right. But, the sadness pales in comparison to the happiness we felt during our time with her and continue to feel for her today. I always imagined that the magnitude of the pain would somehow knock me off my feet, but I've actually found the opposite to be true. We are heartbroken, of course, and there have been moments of pure sadness like nothing I've ever before experienced, but there is ALWAYS happiness and there is ALWAYS love whenever there is a thought or memory or mention of Emma and these seem to carry us all through those darker moments with surprising ease.

We honored Emma in a Celebration of Life service on Friday, June 13th and it was absolutely beautiful. Our Pastor gave an amazing sermon; one that told of Emma's little spirit and God's grace just perfectly. We shared a slide show of pictures and ended the service by sending Emma baby pink balloons....the image of all those balloons drifting from our hands to hers will never fade from my mind. I like to picture my little Emma passing them out to all the children she's met there ~ isn't that a great thought? After the service, our family and close friends shared in planting a memorial garden in our backyard. The day was absolutely beautiful and it was so special to be able to share in celebrating her with so many people and to know how many hearts she stole on her way to Heaven....
*The pics were taken Captured Memories by Paula Guerrero through Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

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6-10-08
We wanted to let everyone know that Emma Leyce was born this morning, June 10, at 1:08 weighing 3 pounds 4 ounces and measuring 16 inches long. She arrived in this world already an angel and, although we were unable to meet her before she was called Home, her spirit was so very present with us as we loved on her for 6 magical hours. As some of you might remember, Emma means "strong" and she certainly lived up to her name as she had a strong personality from the beginning and a strong will to live right up until the end.

It was a very peaceful, joyful and precious experience to finally see her in all her glory. She did, in fact, have a head full of very curly, strawberry blonde hair and very chubby cheeks, 10 long fingers and 10 very long toes, and a sweet little mouth. She looked a lot like her big sister and was just beautiful in every sense of the word. Conner and Rylee were so proud of their little sister and spent a lot of time hugging on her during her time with us...it was so precious to see them all together and a memory we will always cherish. After seeing her for the first time, Conner even thanked us for making a "perfect baby" and she was just that...perfect. We will post pictures as soon as we get them back from our photographer.

Words cannot possibly begin to describe how we feel about Emma or how she has impacted our lives these last 36 weeks. She has taught us more about love and faith than most may ever learn in a lifetime and the memories and lessons we walk away with far outweigh the heartache we will face as we begin our lives without her here.

Jared and I are at complete peace with the decisions we have made and the life we were able to give Emma and look forward to the day we are reunited with her. She was here for a moment but will be loved for an eternity...and we are better parents, better humans and better Christians for having been graced with this little angel's life.

Thank you all for the thoughts, encouragement and prayers you have sent our way over the past weeks and for the continued support we know you will offer our family.

All our love,
Jared, Tamara, Conner, Rylee, and Angel Emma
gavin.family@yahoo.com

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Update 5-31-08
We were seen on Thursday and have been scheduled for an induction on June 10th. We are so incredibly excited to meet Emma and cannot wait to hold and cuddle her for as long as time allows. We are also terrified, knowing the probable outcome of that day but will keep hoping and praying that God grants us a little time with her, even though there will never be "enough time".

Emma continues to do well, she is tiny (probably won't weigh over 3 pounds) but she is feisty and stubborn and we think these two qualities are the best for her to have considering the circumstances. She is still very active and I find myself so grateful for every kick, knowing our time together, at least in this way, is quickly coming to an end. This pregnancy has been so special in such a special way and I would choose to keep her safe and sound inside me forever, if it meant being able to feel her every day.

We have done our best to prepare for the unknown but we have found there is no way to do this. We need all the prayers of comfort and strength that can be sent our way as we know the most difficult is yet ahead. Please keep us, and our sweet Emma, in your thoughts. We will be anxious to share her story late next week. Until then, God's blessings...

The Gavin Family
gavin.family@yahoo.com
 

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Hello~

Our names are Jared and Tamara Gavin and we are honored to share our story with all of you. In October 2007, we were excited to discover we were expecting a third child (a daughter we have lovingly named Emma Leyce) and began planning for the busy and eventful summer this new addition would bring to our family. The beginning of the pregnancy was fairly uneventful although we were referred for an ultrasound at 13 weeks due to not being able to pick up Emma’s heartbeat during our routine prenatal checks; although the ultrasound confirmed a strong heart tone, my instinct told me this would be the first of many hurdles we would face and I began bracing myself for the unknown. At 20 weeks, we were referred for a routine ultrasound and were told that Emma was fine although measured very small for 20 weeks; the entire ultrasound experience was horrible as it was obvious the tech was having difficulty taking measurements of her which caused me to worry even more than I already was. When we discussed the results with our nurse, we were told we just simply were not as far along in pregnancy as what we had originally thought and were told not to worry. I could not accept this explanation and requested another ultrasound be done with an OB specialist.

On March 10, 2008, we had a level II ultrasound done with our local perinatologist and, after a 45 minute exam, were informed that the doctor suspected Emma had Trisomy 13. The ultrasound showed the presence of holoprosencephaly and a Ventral-Septal Defect. It was a crushing blow and one we were not at all prepared for. The perinatologist, who has since taken over our care, was very compassionate and forward with us; he offered the option of terminating the pregnancy explaining the probability that Emma would not survive pregnancy or have a very short life expectancy but he also made it clear to us that he accepted Emma as our daughter and as a living baby and gave us his full support in continuing the pregnancy as long as possible. He and his staff graciously offered as many ultrasounds as we would like in order to bond with her and have given us complete control of how we want to proceed with prenatal care and in planning for Emma’s birth. He has been truly amazing to us and we are so grateful to be in his care!

Following this appointment, we opted for an amniocentesis which later confirmed Full Trisomy 13. Although Emma has the most severe form of holoprosencephaly, she continues to be a fighter and has impressed us all with her continued growth and strength. She is just as active as my other two children were and I try very hard to enjoy every kick she sends my way. She seems to have a bit of a stubborn streak, as well, as she refused to show us her face for the first several ultra sounds. However, one of my closest friends is a Perinatal sonographer and was able to fly home a few weeks ago to scan us; Emma was ready for her debut and stared right at us for most of the exam. We were able to see Emma’s proboscis, which had been suspected through previous ultrasounds; she also has very chubby cheeks, a sweet little mouth and apparently a head full of hair! We are so in love with her and cannot wait to see her in person!

Emotionally, we have had our ups and downs. We spent the first two days after the diagnosis researching and soul searching and praying almost nonstop. Although we were heartbroken and overwhelmed with emotion, we also knew we had a choice in how we could respond and made the conscious decision to celebrate any time we were given with Emma and focus on the joy and many blessings we know this little angel will bring to our family. I did not want my time with her to be filled with anger and sadness and want her to know and feel nothing more than the love and happiness that we have for her.. We have had some very hard moments and cannot pretend it is always easy to stay positive. But, we have a wonderful family, never ending support through friends and co workers and an unwavering faith in God and His ability to see us through this. Emma’s brother and sister, Conner (age 7) and Rylee (age 2) are anxiously awaiting her arrival and both love her very much. We have been very honest with them about Emma’s special condition and have tried to prepare them that she will only be with us a short time on Earth. We are also trying to help them connect with this precious sister of theirs so that they may always carry her with them in some way. I know that seeing our three children together for the first time, regardless of the terms of their meeting, will be the most precious gift we can possibly imagine and I so look forward to that day!

We will be scheduled for an induction the second week of June and I continue to pray and hope that her strength carries her through until then. It is a bittersweet thought to know we are only 4 weeks from meeting her in person, knowing of course, this also means 4 weeks away from sending her Home. Although I do not know what we will face on that day or in the days after her birth, I do know that it will be a beautiful and precious miracle to hold her in my arms and something I will burn into my memory forever. We are so glad to have found this website and feel so blessed to be a part of such a special group of people; we have received a flood of encouragement and support from our fellow Trisomy families and look forward to sharing our own precious journey. Please keep us all in your prayers as we have you in ours…


God's blessings....

Tamara Gavin
gavin.family@yahoo.com