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 On
Thursday, February 12th, (at 19 weeks) I went to the doctor to have my second
ultrasound. We were extremely excited to know the sex of the new baby. I had
already chosen a name for either sex but in my heart of hearts that mommy’s
intuition had already assured me that it was a boy. Sure enough it was just
that. He gave us a most exciting show… he flipped and flopped and played peek a
boo (it was great)! After I got off the ultrasound table and went into the exam
room to wait on the doctor.
Dr. Kouri came in and said we had a great looking, active baby with a strong
heartbeat. He said “little thing though.. Michelle and I both looked and it
appears that there a bit of fluid on the back of the baby’s brain”. He told me
he would like for us to have a second opinion though. He referred me to UAB for
a secondary ultrasound. I went to UAB the following Monday. I didn’t really
realize how serious things were but when I got there we noticed we were at a
complications clinic (we didn’t panic though).
After waiting for what seemed like forever, I went in to the ultrasound room,
the tech did all the routine stuff (like during the one I had on Thursday) it
took quite some time because Dylan didn’t really want to do what she wanted him
to. Then a lady came in and said she was a doctor and she wanted to look at the
baby… she did and then she asked me what did my doctor tell me. I told her what
he said about the fluid and she said okay. She finished up and she told me to
wait for her in the next room.
After yet another long wait, she came in the room sat on her little stool and
sat a box of Kleenex on the counter beside me. She said she didn’t have good
news. She went on to say that there was not fluid on Dylan’s brain. It was
actually a gap where his brain was not connecting properly. She said that she
was pretty certain he has a chromosome disorder called trisomy 13. She said he
had a cleft lip, the valves to his heart were only on one side, his kidneys were
dilated, and there was probably more problems than that.
She said he would not live very long (at the most a few weeks) she said if
strangely he did live he would have severe mental problems along with major
health issues especially with his heart. She told us she recommended that we
terminate the pregnancy. She told us that she could do a test to determine a
definite diagnosis but there was a possibility I would miscarry after the test.
I asked if this test would assist us in any way and she said it would just
confirm what he had.
 She
said there was no hope he would probably die during birth and if not they would
call hospice in the moment he was born. So we opted not to do the test.
Simultaneously, I had a mental and physical melt down right in the office. I
cried from that point and then on for the next four hours. She told us to go out
the back door so I wouldn’t upset other patients; she wanted to see me back in
four weeks, and to call her if I changed my mind about the amnio.
The next day I started a search on the internet because I really had no clue
what trisomy was (that is how I found your website). On Palm Sunday, after
leaving church I realized Dylan was sluggish (he was normally super active and I
was barely feeling him move). The next day he moved even less.
So Tuesday morning I called the doctor’s office and explained the lack of
movement. They told me to come in. I had another ultrasound and it confirmed
what I already knew (Dylan had no heartbeat). The rest I can’t tell you because
the lights in my world (and my family’s) are still pretty dim…
Tanisha Adair
Mother: Tanisha Adair Father: James Hall
Email: southadair@yahoo.com
princss28@hotmail.com:
Other children: DeAvionne (9), Jordyn (7) & Dalton (3) Trisomy child: Dylan
Averry
Due: August 4th 2009 (born at rest Wednesday, April 8th 2009- 23 weeks)
Memorial service: was held on Monday, April13th
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